Monster
by the-br0ken-clock
Summary: I'm a monster. I'm sorry, so sorry. Please, forgive me. Slash warning.


AN: No, you may not eat my brownie! I said so, that's why! Are you getting smart with me? Bad! -Kicks the wall- Now, go sit in the corner and think about what you've done! -The ceiling sighs and goes to the corner of the room.-

-Looks around- Uhhhhh, how long have you people been here? Oh, so you….saw…that….? Ummmm, right then. Let's forget that this whole thing happened.

Okay, don't kill me. Please? I promise that I'll get the next chapter of How Do I Wake Up? OR HDIWU? soon. I HAD to do this. I'm sorry, I'll go hide now.

Anyways, enjoy! No, you may not sue me if you cry.

This is obviously AU!

Disclaimer: I'm Jay Stephens in a girl's body…..I mean, really fanfiction, really? Geez…

xxx

Monster. That's what I am, a cold-blooded monster.

How else could I explain the destruction and trouble I have caused?

For the past several years, a group of scientists-including my parents-have been searching for a very special and powerful cryptid, one that could change the world. Kur.

You can imagine everyone's shock when it was revealed that **I** am Kur. How could this happen? How could anyone have luck this terrible? Even though I had my suspicions, I still can't believe that it's true. I AM Kur, I am the ultimate evil.

To my family, I seemed almost glad to be Kur, however, that is most definitely NOT the case. To me, it's an absolute nightmare. So much power in a 13-year-olds hands, it's ridiculous and idiotic. I can't handle it, I'm just a kid.

My parents deemed themselves supportive, but….but what if they're really _disgusted _instead? Ashamed that their son is a freak of nature? I was proud and boastful of my cryptid-controlling powers back when I didn't know I was Kur, but now? Now, I think I'm going to throw up.

Killing. That's what some people say that I'm supposed to do, but I can't. If I do, I'll lose what humanity I have left in me. I **won't **let that happen, I promised to myself that I wouldn't let this creature control me. **I** would control **it**.

However, it didn't take me too long to break my promise.

It was a sunny day, the birds were chirping, flowers were blooming, and people were smiling. Our newly re-built home was pretty nice, but I wanted to be outside. So, I ran to find Fisk, Zon, and Komodo. I found Fisk watching TV, lounging on the couch. Zon and Komodo were taking in the warm sunshine, I smiled and called them all over to myself. They obliged and I declared that we'd play our game. We put on the armbands and started.

Halfway through the game, I had felt a strange tingling sensation in my stomach and chest area. I stopped for a second, but continued playing. A few minutes later, my head started to throb pretty painfully, so I stopped and sat down, holding my head and groaning a little. My 'siblings' came up to me and try to see ask what was wrong. I wanted to answer, but I lost my voice. So, I only sat there, trying to keep myself together. Even though I was struggling, I fought back the exhaustion because I didn't want to collapse.

Fisk ran to get our parents, ignoring my cries of protests.

Suddenly, my whole vision lit up. All I could see was pure orange, nothing else. The world meant nothing to me at that moment. Worse, it was becoming difficult to keep my emotions at bay. They were like raging rapids set to drown all that got in it's way.

My built up frustration, confusion, anger, and sorrow finally came out of the places that I had locked up deep within my heart and flew out in a rage. I screamed, my whole body filled up to the brim with agonizing pain.

Soon, I heard my parent's calling my name, telling me to snap out of it. Sadly, it was too late. I lost the reign of control over my own body.

I roared with a voice that wasn't my own, one that made a lion seem like a kitten. It _scared_ me.

I felt my parents and Fisk kneeling besides me, trying to calm me down, but my animal side wouldn't have it. It didn't want to be _calmed down_, it wanted **out**.

My parents were patting my head, shaking my shoulders, hugging me, saying soothing words in my ear. Kur soon got tired of it and did something that I'll _never_ forget.

It lashed out.

My right hand curled up into a fist and swung right into my dad's face, knocking him over with surprising force. My animal side gave me inhumane strength. If it weren't for the current situation, I would've been so psyched. Next, I used my left arm to grab The Claw, which had been attached to my belt, the belt being something I had to keep on to protect myself from Wadi. I hit my mom once in the gut, then swung it around to successfully crack one of my mother's shoulders. They wanted to fight back, but were scared of hurting their son.

When my dad stood up again, I jumped and used his chest to gain some height. I landed on Zon, using her as an advantage. Fisk was leaning down to help my mom up, so I took this as a chance to pounce on his back. When I did, he let out a howl. I grabbed a fist of his fur and pulled, then took the Claw and hit him over the head with it with almost full force. He fell over, I jumped off right before he hit the ground. My dad was running straight for me, so I jumped and flew over his head and kicked him in the back. My cryptid side was…giving me abilities I didn't know I had.

"Zak, stop!", My mom pleaded, trying to catch me. The monster in me ordered my body to kick her in the face.

"No! Stop! Stopppp!", I screamed, trying to make Kur stop hurting my family. Komodo came up and bit my leg, making me screech.

"Zak!", My dad yelled, sprinting towards me again. I didn't try to stop him this time. However, when he tried to grab me, I maneuvered away from his hands.

"Make…it…STOP!", The pain was excruciating, I wanted everything to end. I wanted IT to end.

Voices appeared in my head, saying how disappointed they were, how I was wasting my power. How I should destroy the ones I love. I didn't want to listen, please believe me. However, Kur gave me no choice.

An explosion erupted throughout the entire surrounding area, destroying anything within five miles.

"NOOOOOOOOO!", I roared.

Finally, when all the smoke and ash cleared away, I could see straight. My parents were lying next to each other, their breathing shallow, and clothing nearly torn into shreds. Fisk was in a tree, almost all of his fur ripped off, allowing me to see the flesh that was eaten away by the flames. Zon, Komodo, and both of my parents sported the same injuries. However, I was perfectly fine. Unmarked. For I was the cause of the very explosion itself.

I collapsed at my parent's sides, sobbing into their hair. My animal side was slowly disappearing back into the shadows, satisfied by it's work.

"Oh god, oh…god.", I sniffled.

They were still breathing, luckily. I contacted my uncle Doyle, urgently _commanding_ him to get over here, and quick.

He did, and as soon as he got to us, his face turned into a mask of pure horror, "What _happened_?"

I couldn't answer, I could only hide my face in shame and regret.

"When I find whoever did this, I swear-", The tone in his voice scared me, but I knew I had to tell the truth. He was probably already suspicious of how I wasn't even scathed.

"It was me", I muttered in a very low voice.

"What?", He asked, not hearing me.

"It…it was me", I exclaimed louder. It took a while before his brain finally processed this.

"No way. Stop joking Mini-man, who did it? I need to know so I can kill them.", The venom in his voice made me want to curl up and cry even harder.

"I'm not joking! It was me! It was Kur! He told me to and I did. I didn't want to, believe me! I really didn't want to!", I let out another cry.

He didn't look at me after that, he turned his back to me and called the paramedics.

When they arrived, he still wouldn't even look in my direction. He helped put my parents on the gurney, I wanted them to help my cryptid siblings too, but they were near death anyway. It wasn't worth it.

My parents were placed in the burn ward, their skin missing in patches. It was so severe that they were put on life-support.

I sat down next to them in a chair, holding their hands and started rubbing their knuckles.

"Mom…dad…I'm so….sorry", I broke down into another fit of tears, "I never meant for this to happen, Kur was controlling me, I couldn't stop it. I'm sorry, please, please stay with me. Don't leave me!"

Doyle had to drag me away from the hospital room.

A few months passed, I had to live in Doyle's apartment that was in New York. He never looked at me, and rarely even said a thing to me. Unless it was "Morning", "Dinner time", "Bed time", or "Don't do that! You'll break it!"

One morning, I heard Doyle on the phone. He sounded really exhausted.

"No. It's time. Just…cut it off. Pull the plug."

'_What?', _I thought.

"Yes, cut off the life-support. I don't want them to suffer", Doyle sounded like he was about to cry, something I've never seen before.

"_Cut off the life-support." He wasn't, was he?_

"NO!", I exclaimed.

Doyle whirled around and hung up the phone, "I have to Mini- _Zak, _they shouldn't have to suffer because **you** lost control.", That stung. I felt tears appearing in my eyes.

Either my uncle didn't notice or didn't care, he started to dial another number.

"Yes, hello?", He started to walk into another room.

Minutes later, he returned to the kitchen, "Thanks, I'll be over to fill out the papers soon. Yes, he'll be coming with me. Thank you."

I was confused, what was going on? I assume he was talking about me when he said "he'll be coming with me", but what for? Saying goodbye to my parents? I didn't want to, I knew I'd just break down and protest in tears, then they'd have to sedate me just to get me out of there.

However, our destination was NOT the hospital.

It was an adoption home.

He didn't want me. He couldn't even keep me. When I realized that, it was a huge blow. He might as well just stab me in the heart with a knife.

After he was done with the paperwork, the only goodbyes I got was a cold, "Bye Zak, hope you find a great family". The knife was twisted and pushed in deeper.

Hope you find a great family? That's it? No ,"I'm sorry, but I can't do this"? Just "bye"?

Nearly breaking into more tears, I swallowed away the pain and let the desk lady help me to my room. Over the course of the next five months, I barely ate, I couldn't sleep because of haunting nightmares of **that** day, and I never spoke to anyone. Kids my age would try to get me to play with them, but I'd shake my head and continue gazing out the window at the looming rain clouds that were covering up the sun.

Eventually, the Secret Scientists-minus Miranda, whom had quit because she couldn't take how cruel they were anymore-had heard of where I was and rushed over to adopt me.

I knew they didn't do it to give me a home, but to finally be able to analyze my body and figure out how my powers worked. They'd use me, then throw me away, just like batteries.

Turns out I was right.

Next thing I knew, I was lying down on a freezing examination table, in only my boxer shorts. Tubes that were attached to some machine I didn't understand were stuck into my wrist, making me hiss in pain. Beeman, being the creep he is, smirked. I glared at him and tried to kick him, but he caught my leg and chained it down.

Beeman left the room, going to go converse with the other scientists. When they all entered the room again, I was struggling with the binds that held me, though I knew it was no use.

"Tsk, tsk. It seems as though the little Sunday boy is trying to escape.", A scientist scolded in a mocking voice.

I growled, "It's _Saturday_."

He sneered, "Same thing, you petty child."

I swear, if I wasn't chained up right now…

Beeman played with my hair, "So, Skunk Boy, how's life?"

"Better than yours", I smirked. That alien freak really shouldn't be criticizing anyone, especially since his greatest joy in life is trying to track down UFO's that aren't even real. What a thrill.

He raised his eyebrows, "Oh really? Last time I checked, I'm not some freak of nature that killed his own parents and made his own uncle hate him, now am I?"

I froze, too stunned to speak. Was he really that cruel?

"Fuck you!", I screamed in rage.

He slapped me. I stared up at him in awe and appall, "Little boys like you shouldn't be using that word."

"I hate you.", I tried to sound tough, but I knew my voice was close to cracking.

"The feeling is mutual, then. Apparently, your uncle hates you too."

Suddenly, a voice echoed throughout the lab, "No, he doesn't."

The anonymous person stepped out of the shadows, revealing my said uncle. He had an over-shadow and his eyes said that he has had as much sleep as I have these past five or so months. Looking closer, I saw scars on his hands that looked like glass…..

Beeman's voice snapped me back to reality, "Ah, Mr. Blackwell, nice of you to stop by."

Doyle glared daggers at him, "Piss off, asshole."

"Hm, now I know where Zak got his language from. Say, did you teach him how to do his hair as well?"

My uncle had enough, he punched Beeman in the face, successfully breaking the Scientist's nose. The rest of the scientists-which only consisted of ten people-charged forward, ready to take him out, but he turned on his jetpack and flew up a few feet, dodging their attack. He grabbed a discarded laser that must have been lying on a table and cut off my binds with it. He then wrapped a protective arm around my waist and put his other arm under my calves. We flew right out of there.

When we got to his apartment complex, he landed on the roof and put me down.

The next few minutes were oozing with silence before I heard Doyle clear his throat, "Mini-man….I….I don't know where to begin. I'm so sorry for I did to you, I shouldn't have ignored you. Hell, I shouldn't have left you at that orphanage."

"It was my fault anyway."

"No. That's where you're wrong, it's not your fault, it's Kur's."

"I AM Kur.", Didn't he remember?

"Still. It's not your fault you still haven't mastered your powers yet. I shouldn't have done what I did and I hope you can forgive me. Even if you don't, you're staying here with me no matter what. You need someone to take care of you."

I tool in a breath, "Of course I forgive you, Doyle.", Before he could respond, I hugged him tightly, digging my head into the crook of his neck.

He seemed a little surprised at first, but wrapped his arms around my waist and put his head on top of mine.

"Your parents would be so pissed at me for not punishing you for cursing, but, I'll allow it. Only 'cause I'm awesome."

I laughed, "Hey Doyle, what happened to your right hand?", I asked, picking up said hand.

He grimaced, "I kinda punched a mirror.", I gave him a look, "What? I missed you Mini-man, I'm ashamed of what I did."

I beamed, "What?", He asked.

"You called me Mini-man."

He chuckled, "Guess I did."

I kissed his hand, "Better?"

"Much, but that's not good enough."

"What do you mea-"

He cut me off with a rough kiss, almost knocking me off balance.

My eyes widened in complete shock. My uncle….kissing me? Is this real? Am I….dreaming? I hope not. However, with my luck, I'll probably be waking up in a few seconds.

Nothing. I'm awake.

Oh my god! I'm awake! This is REALLY happening! My uncle! Kissing ME! Well, this was rather…unexpected. Though, I think I like this surprise.

I looked up at his shining eyes in awe. He smiled back at me and picked me up bridal style and flew us to the ground and opened his apartment door. He laid me down on the couch and sat next to my socked feet.

"What was that?", I asked, still trying to catch my breath.

His smile grew, "I love you."

"I love you too, you're my uncle."

He chuckled, "Not…like that Mini-man."

For a second, I was confused. We're family, surely he didn't mean that. I mean, I know we kissed, but still.

"W-what?"

"I thought the kiss would be a hint.", He was searching my face, looking for any sign of an answer from me.

I took in a deep breath, then exhaled. "I…I love you too, in that way.", Did I really mean it, or was I just sparing his feelings? I thought for a moment.

I knew that deep inside, it was the truth. I DID love him. I wanted to be in a serious relationship with him. I wanted him to wake me up with kisses and cuddles in the morning. I wanted to be with him. He's all I have.

He beamed and encircled me into another hug, being happier than I've ever seen him. "Uh, you're kinda suffocating me, Uncle Doyle.", I choked out, laughing a bit.

He chuckled, "Sorry Little-man. I can't help how muscled I am."

I rolled my eyes. I guess he'll always be cocky. Of course, I'll love him the same.

"So, does that mean we're….", I asked with a blush. I'll admit, it was pretty embarrassing to ask.

"Yes", He claimed, knowing what I meant.

Before I could say anything else, he planted another kiss on my lips and picked me up once more. Walking to the bedroom, he closed the door and set me down on the bed. Taking his shirt off, he helped me with mine as well.

However, when his hand reached for my belt, I grabbed it. He gave me a confused and disappointed look, "W-wait. We shouldn't. I'm only fourteen, while you're…."

"Thirty-one", He finished for me.

"That's quite a difference, you know."

"I don't care.", Doyle replied simply.

I tried to come up with something to say, about how wrong it was, how he could go to jail for it. Whenever I tried to think, nothing came. He was right. He didn't care and neither did I. We love each other and no one will stop us.

I nodded and he continued undoing my belt and shoving my pants down. He did the same with his, then lied down on top on top of me. Luckily, his weight didn't kill me, so I was okay. He pulled my boxers off, leaving me totally exposed. I blushed, but he merely smirked and whispered a few words of encouragement in my ears. Then, our love game began.

xxx

The next morning, sunlight peeked in through the curtains, highlighting my uncle's attractive face. My hair felt hot, my body felt sweaty and sore. I chuckled at my uncle's position. His head was rested on my chest, his legs were hanging off the bed, and his arms were wrapped around my waist. I noticed that he was drooling a bit as well. My laughs woke him up. Oops.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing.", I giggled. He chuckled and ran a hand through my hair.

"You silly boy", I rolled my eyes.

I stood up and put on my clothes. Doyle pouted, so I ignored it.

"What do you want for breakfast, _dear", _I joked.

"Hm, bacon sounds good. Though I think I'd rather have _you_."

I shook my head and blushed. Oh how this man loves to embarrass me.

I got to work on breakfast as Doyle changed and set the table. Okay, I had to MAKE him set the table and he dropped a few things, but at least he did it. Sort of.

Sitting down, we both realized that we didn't have any orange juice. There was none left in the fridge, so Doyle offered to go out while I took a shower.

He left, leaving me alone. Little did I know what would happen.

xxx

I let out another wretched sob, muffling it with my favorite pillow. Lifting up my head, I watched the replay, leaving my heart broken once more. I was in agony, my heart was torn in shreds. I heaved out yet another cry of anguish, wiping my tears as I did.

Gone. He was gone. GONE! How? How could this happen? I just got him back and I had already lost him once more. Though, this time, it was different. Unlike last time, it was permanent.

His jetpack had been sabotaged, most likely by one of his enemies. So, when he was flying through the city it failed, causing him to plummet to his death. I could feel vomit rising up my throat, I ran for the bathroom. I puked until I felt nauseous, and lied my head down on the floor next to the toilet. Finally, when I felt my tears cease, I slowly got to my feet. I wasted no time in looking through the nightstand drawers that were in Doyle and I's room. Finding what I was looking for, I ran up the steps that led to the roof.

When I reached the top of the five-story building, I sat down on the edge of the roof.

Did I really want to do this? Yes. I've lost everything that held any meaning for me, and it's all my fault. I don't deserve this release, but I can't take it. I need to get away from all this pain and misery, I need to END it. No matter how much I try, I'll never get over any of this. I could never forgive myself for what I've become and what I've done. I just hope my family can.

I'm so sorry everyone, I'm so sorry.

I wish my family was still here, smiling like they usually did. I wish everything could be taken back. Most importantly, I wish I was never born.

_In a perfect world, this would never happen. _

_In a perfect world, you'd still be here. _

_And it makes no sense, I could just pick up the pieces_

_But to you, this means nothing_

_Nothing at all_

_I don't know what I should do now_

_I don't know where I should go_

_I'm still here waiting for you_

_I'm lost when you're not around_

_I need to hold onto you_

_I just can't let you go_

My tears spilled onto my cheek, dripping off my chin, onto to the gun that I was clutching in my right hand. The gun that was supposed to be used as defense, not self-harm.

I made my mind up.

No letter, no note, no anything. It's just a waste of time, who's gonna read it anyway? Wadi? Yeah, right. I doubt she even cares.

Pulling the loaded gun up to my ear, I imagined blowing my brains out. The thought alone gave me a sick feeling, but I wasn't going to stop.

I would go through with it.

I can't take it back.

I deserve to die a coward anyways.

I'm a monster.

"Monster", I whispered.

BANG!

xxx

"_Zak?"_

"_I love you"_

"_I love you too"_

xxx

AN: -Gives all readers tissues- Did you cry?

I know this kinda sucks, but I guess it's not too bad. This idea popped in my mind and I thought as I went.

I just guessed Doyle's age. He was probably about 4 or 5 when Argost attacked his and Drew's family. About 27 years later, he'd be about 31 or 32. If you're confused on how I got the 27 years later thing, just watch the part in 'War of Cryptids' when they're talking about Argost attacking their family.

If it was confusing, just ask me anything.

The last part was of Zak and Doyle meeting again in the afterlife.

I hope you enjoyed!

-Rach

HOLY CRAP! 11 PAGES! ALL TIME RECORD!

By the way, the song was Perfect World by Simple Plan. I love Simple Plan ^_^


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